Fifteen? Really?

The Librarian did all the hard work, of course, while I just stood there feeling quite useless and very much in the way of the doctors and nurses. My occasional entreaty to push didn’t actually help the Librarian in any way, I’m sure, but saying it was better than not saying it. Oscar Wilde would, no doubt, agree with me. So I said it a few times while I gently squeezed her hand. She squeezed back. She wasn’t as gentle.

We became first time parents that day but only after a good deal of persuasion. Our first child wasn’t too keen on leaving his home of nine months. Or maybe he was but, being a large baby, found his progress impeded by a less than ideal path. The attending physician finally decided that some assistance was in order and brought out the medical equivalent of a vacuum cleaner. And so – fifteen years ago – Game Guru was literally sucked out into the world.

Time passed. The little human being shifted and changed. Along the way he contributed a great deal to my grey hair. There was the time I found him attempting to discover the effects of electricity. We had the foresight to cover all exposed power points so he was in no danger of getting a shock. In fact the shock was all mine until I realized that he was safe.

A much larger shock came some time later. The Game Guru and I were alone one morning and he had grown weary of my company (hard to believe, I know but even Saucer has his off days.) The inevitable happened and he became Little Monster, arch nemesis of Daddy Man. Ranting and raving ensued. I finally gathered together all the dignity an adult could muster and left him alone in his room but not before telling him something I promised myself I would never say: “if you don’t like the rules in this house then you can go find another house with better rules.” Things quietened down after that. A lot. It was very, very quiet.

I was frantically searching our neighbourhood when the Librarian returned home. She had a little passenger with him. I can’t describe the sense of relief that surged through me when I saw that little face. I don’t think he has ever received an embrace quite like the one he got then. The Librarian told me that she picked him up some distance away from the house – at least it was some distance for his little legs. The Game Guru had gone looking for the house with better rules.

His contribution to my grey hair collection, however, is miniscule compared to his contribution to my facial wrinkle collection. Those wrinkles are direct result of the smiles and laughs he has given me in his fifteen years. How can I ever forget, for example, this:

“What sound does a cow make?” we ask.

“Moo!” says he.

“What sound does a dog make?”

“Woof!”

“And what sound does a chicken make?”

“Sizzle, sizzle, in the pan!”

So here, filled with love and pride, are hugs to him even though he towers over me now. Happy birthday, my Son!